saul? no, my name is paul.

On the trains in the morning, I have some uninterrupted time to read my Bible. What a blessing it has been. The time I have to get in the Word helps me get through the day. Going through Acts has been fun. I need to study it more, but Paul rocks. God really used him as a mouthpiece for His Word to the Gentiles and I only pray that I can be such a light in my world. Fear is a major roadblock in this trek. Fear that you'll sound stupid and especially fear that your work to be accepted by a group will be "gone to waste" if you say the wrong thing.

In your head, you know that if they cannot accept your views, then they probably weren't your friends anyway. Then there's also the barrier of co-workers and the unspoken social drives in that circle. Is there a way to cross the co-worker/friend/spiritual friend barrier? In your heart, you think to yourself, "it's taken me 2 months to make the progress that I have. It only takes one wrong move to break that down. I can't say what I'm really feeling" ...one can only pray for wisdom, discernment and Lord-given courage.

I thank God everyday for the seemingly-random things that have taken place in my life to teach me about perseverance, love and being the new kid on the block. I've been learning to ask questions, get out of my comfort zone, and figure out that I'm not that smart.. The people I spend my days with have bounds of wisdom to share and are so willing to do so - another blessing.

Being the baby in the group wasn't so bad until they found out.. =)

Things are just a matter of asking questions in rounds to decrease the frequency of questions asked to the same person and thus increasing the you're-not-a-total-pain-in-the-rear feeling. The thing about teachers is that they are always in "teacher-mode"...which means if you love to learn, they love to teach. Luckily, I'm eager to learn.

What a load of random babble...sorry. Next time there will be some sort of point.